Jim Cramer worked in Tallahassee

Norcross Jul 23rd, 2009General Ramblings

I always talk about getting rid of cable. Unfortunately, I never get around to it because I have little interest in dropping off the box. And, I have a routine in the morning where I watch Morning Joe on MSNBC. It’s actually a pretty terrible habit if you think about it. But, like all reasonably obsessive compulsive people, I have a hard time breaking habits.

Anyways, I always complain about Morning Joe because the pundit banter is pretty obnoxious and I think Joe Scarborough is a tool. Here’s a guy who went to UF but roots for Bama. That’s like doing a tour of duty in Iraq and going “you know what bro, I just root for Al Queda. I like where their heads’ are at and I think they’ve got a good tradition going on.”

So based on the above example, it’s clear that when watching Morning Joe, you are dealing with a complete boner of a host. As such, there are often many guests who are of the same caliber. Jim Cramer is one of them.

Jim Cramer got his first big break as a journalist by covering the Ted Bundy murders in Tallahassee. In other words, he lived in Tallahassee, which means he probably likes FSU. Hey buddy, you know why you’re bald? It’s not genetics, it’s the Lord’s way of telling you that FSU sucks and you suck for being even remotely associated with them.

Weirdly enough though, these two dipshits got something right this morning. They were talking about health care and Jim Cramer made an excellent point about the social forces that were dictating the debate and could ultimately lead to its defeat. Jim more or less explains that the people who don’t want to raise taxes on the rich are not necessarily the rich, but the average Americans who somehow think they’re going to eventually become rich. Jim goes on to explain that he’s already a millionaire and really doesn’t give a shit if they raise his taxes by a percent or two if it would save the health care system, and potentially save a whole slew of other things being paid for by the federal government. He alludes to the fact that the real problem you have is that too many people in America think they’re going to become millionaires and don’t want to be taxed more once they get there. And! Joe kind of agreed with him by regaling the panel with ridiculous stories from his youth about driving around in the panhandle and wondering how he could live in the big houses on the water and was told that all he had to do was go to school and work real hard and become a congressman and then quit and then get a tv show and then root for Bama even though the school that give him a good education was UF. Fuck you Joe. You’re a dick and I want that diploma back.

Anyway, I’m getting away from their point.

Their real point was that wanting to be a millionaire is cool, but not very likely. I agree with this.

I am not a millionaire, but would like to be. If I were to get there, I wouldn’t mind paying an extra one percent tax for other people’s health care. I’m not the most sympathetic or empathetic person, but it seems reasonable enough. So, Joe or Jim, can you guys show me where I can make a million dollars? I’m not asking for a lottery ticket bro. Just a shot at the big time. Joe, you owe me. You sold out the gator nation and I hate you.

2 Responses to “Jim Cramer worked in Tallahassee”

  1. Tim

    I actually did get rid of the cable and my life has been enriched in so many ways. Ok, maybe not, but at least I spend less time listening to talking heads scream incoherent bullshit over high-frequency edits of stock footage. Unfortunately Scarborough looks brilliant compared to most of them…

  2. Norcross

    What blows my mind is that there is actually enough people watching this garbage to support the multiple pundit shows. Are there that many people actually interested, or is it just one big circle jerk?